6 Steps For Granting Forgiveness

Granting forgiveness is more for the one that was offended, than it is for the offender. When you don’t forgive, you imprison yourself; chain yourself to the offender, who may not realize he / she has hurt you the way you are hurting or has chosen to forget about it. Here is six ways to grant forgiveness.

1.  Acknowledge your pain and anger

2. Be specific about your future expectations and limits

3. Give up your right to “get even”

4. Let go of the blame, resentment, and negativity

5. Communicate your act of forgiveness to the other person

6. Work toward reconciliation if at all possible and when safe

Remember, forgiveness does not mean you forget.  It is a decision you make to forgive.  It is two dimensional – decisional and emotional.  This is one of the chapters in my book “this was not supposed to happen”.

Click on the book image found on the upper right-hand side of this blog page to learn more.

If I can be of help to you or someone you know, visit my website at http://helpingothershope.com and contact me.  I can help you as a Therapist, Life Coach or a Keynote Speaker.

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6 Steps For Seeking Forgiveness

Forgiveness for the most part, is not easy. We have been told we need to forgive, but how do we do it.  Here are six thoughts on how to proceed.

1. Admit what you did was wrong or hurtful … this is where it all starts. Until we have this insight, we will not see the need to request forgiveness.

2. Try to understand / empathize with the pain you have caused … this is simply putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.

3. Take responsibility for your actions and make restitution if necessary … do not blame others, justify or try to explain why.

4. Assure the other person that you will try not to do it again … there is no guarantee that there won’t be a repeat performance, but telegraphing to the other person you’re determination to guard against such, is vitally important.

5. Apologize and ask for forgiveness … you must ask for it. It is not enough just to say you are sorry.

6. Forgive yourself … this is probably the most difficult, but crucially important.

Click on the book image found on the upper right-hand side of this blog page to learn more.

If I can be of help to you or someone you know, visit my website at http://helpingothershope.com and contact me.  I can help you as a Therapist, Life Coach or a Keynote Speaker.

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7 communication skills that leads to intimacy

1. Give full attention to your partner when talking ... make eye contact; do not be looking at or involved in any other activity that would indicate you are not listening

2. Focus on the good qualities in each other and often praise each other

3. Be assertive ... share your thoughts, feelings, and needs; ask for what you want.  Use the "I" statement instead of "You".  When someone hears "you", they tend to go into a defensive mode. (i.e. "I worry when you don't let me know when you'll be late" rather than "you are always late").

4. Avoid criticism

5. Listen to understand, not to judge ... the more you understand, the less you judge

6. Use active listening .. summarize your partner's comments before sharing your own reactions or feelings

7. Avoid blaming each other and work together for a solution

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